There are five recognized stages of grief in the Kübler-Ross model,  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

ny people experience them during a divorce.  Maybe not in the same order and maybe not all of the emotions.  At the Lockhart Law Firm we recognize that this is an intense time for everyone, but especially for children.  One thing you may be concerned about is child support.  Child support is mandatory by statute.

The series of emotional stages that someone experiences, when faced with impending divorce, can create a whirlwind of feelings and emotions.  

Denial.  A good friend just came to me in tears.  Her husband wants a divorce.  I don’t think it was a shock to her as much as an overwhelming feeling of sadness and denial.  Maybe he will change his mind.  After all, they have been talking about it for years.  Her sadness was palpable.

Sad that she was unsuccessful in making the marriage work.  Sad that her 10-year-old was sad.  Sad that she was going to have to leave her home and sell it.  Sad that her husband of 20 years no longer wanted to be married.  Sad.

Anger.  The husband had her “served” with a divorce petition.  That is the paper that is filed with the court stating “you have been sued” and asking the court to dissolve the marriage.   Now her emotions became raw and she became angry.  How could he/she do this?   It is important to contact the Lockhart Law Firm immediately if you received legal papers as you must file an answer to the lawsuit.    

Bargaining.     What does she do now?  How could he file something?  They had just been talking and now she is holding legal documents.   Why could she/he not just wait until school is out and their son finishes sixth grade?  or, get through the holidays?  or, graduation? or, after their vacation that has been scheduled for three months?   Feelings of hopelessness and not wanting to do anything right away is a mistake.   It is very important that you contact the Lockhart Law Firm so that an answer can be timely filed.  Maybe she/he will change their mind, but you cannot let time pass and a “default” judgment is taken because you did not answer the lawsuit.

 Depression.  It happens! A lot!  When you become so depressed and emotional overloaded that you want to crawl into a hole and hide from friends, family and the courthouse.  It is important to secure documents.  See the divorce checklist.  It is important to consult with Cathleen Lockhart so that you know what you are facing and understand the process.  Knowledge is power and there is life after divorce!

Acceptance.  It may take years or it may be weeks before the emotional scars heal and you accept the change.  Children feel the impact for years and parents must keep in mind what is in the best interest of the children.  The court’s first priority is to determine what is in the best interest of the children. It is emotionally healthy to recognize your self-worth and emotionally support the children in the divorce.

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